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Wednesday, July 17, 2019

I Operate an Extreme Fat Farm

I operate an Extreme Fat Farm.

These are the excuses that float or don't. You decide.

Goal: To walk four lengths of the swimming area roped off by buoys in the local lake.

Excuse: It's too cold.

Answer: That's the point.

Excuse: I can't get there.

Answer: Uber, taxi, city bus, walk, push your car downhill until it starts and jump in.

Excuse: I don't have anything to wear. I haven't worn a bathing suit in years.

Answer: here's a scissors and bring a pair of your old jeans.

Excuse: I can't swim in cut offs.

Answer: We aren't swimming yet. Just walking in water. You can do that in cutoffs and an old tshirt.

Excuse: My legs are hairy and I don't have a razor to shave with.

Answer: the Fish don't mind.

Excuse: The Fish????!

Answer: They haven't bothered me yet.

Excuse: I don't have lake shoes.

Answer:Neither do most folks around here.

Excuse: But you don't guarantee weight loss.

Answer: That's correct.

Excuse: What if I catch a cold from being wet and cold so much?

Answer: You might.

Excuse: What will people think of me jumping in the lake with my clothes on.

Answer: Good entertainment.

The end....is sometimes the beginning.


P.S. If you're looking for some entertainment that will also double as a motivational speech, try the two following biographical flicks currently on Netflix...by the names of "Kim Swims" and "The Iron Cowboy".

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