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Wednesday, June 5, 2013

ONE goal, not 100

Some years ago, I realized, that due to some popular yuppy mom theology I was expected to be or become a multi-tasker.
To all those who paved THAT path..... I say....what were you thinking ladies?
Have you ever become an expert at ONE skill or task by doing it while doing 5 other tasks simultaneously?
Have you ever driven your car really well while applying makeup, correcting your child's grammar, drinking green tea and prioritizing your appointments for the week? I doubt it! ..
 For the record, please DON'T DO THAT! It's dangerous and the odds are pretty good that you won't do any of them really well because you are splintering your concentration into 5 fractions of what used to be your perfectly whole brain.!

It's about focus, girls. Don't become a "Jane of all trades", unless you want to be scattered throughout your life. If you do one thousand different tasks in one week while holding one very specific job title/position, you are probably NOT  getting any credit for most of the myriad of tasks that you perform.

Note, that my life experience has taught me, that although it is fun and ego flattering to be someone who can do a lot of different things, it doesn't necessarily help me in progressing to my next step.

We must, at some point in our lives, give ourselves permission to do ONE thing well, with 100% focus and concentration. I'm not saying that you need to become a one dimensional person. It is a beautiful thing to have varied interests in a wide variety of subject matter.

I am talking about how to accomplish a very specific predetermined goal.
Any of the great female success stories were usually not involved in 100 different projects at the same time.
These women protected their right to focus, to pursue ONE goal at a time. They used what support staff that they could, to support their RIGHT TO FOCUS. What kind of support staff could you use? A cleaning service? A bookkeeper? a professional babysitter?

It isn't always about what you are "capable" of doing. We all, CAN do a myriad of different tasks. Just because we know how to do them, doesn't mean we NEED to do that task repeatedly for time immemorial.
You can and must write down your own set of goals that is precious to your heart. No need to write a list of 200 goals. Your list can be ten items or even two or three. You may find that the shorter your list, the more likely you are to actually accomplish that written goal.

Moms too often allow their own ideas to fade because they ignore their own gifts in order to focus on the needs of their families. However, a decade or two may pass before they realize that they aren't teaching their children by example how to value their own gifts. Please moms, don't ignore yourself.

Value who and what you are. Get to know which tasks you enjoy and which you deplore. Try different things and see which ones you are good at. Figure out which tasks in life cause you the most frustration. Maybe your hubby can take over one of those tasks and free you up a little space. Or maybe you have a friend who can take over one of your dreaded responsibilities so that you can write that next great novel, or sing that next great song.

Teaching our kids how to value themselves is something we will teach them by living our own example. Becoming a martyr with no goals or aspirations is probably not the kind of thing you want to model..... especially to your daughters, who depend on you to model what it means to be a woman.

Peace, friends and blog-ees, have a wonderful week.

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